Choose Well

Sunday June 15 was the “perfect Father’s Day”.

First let me say that anyone who feels “sorry” for my dear darling hubby because he has six daughters needs to think again. This man is one very pampered Dad! For weeks the girls have been planning and scheming and continuing to come up with more ideas to give their Daddy an excellent Father’s Day.

The day began as the two eldest walked through the door Sunday morning (they had been house sitting the night before) with his favorite Starbucks coffee and a newspaper in hand. They then proceeded to prepare his favorite breakfast of pancakes, eggs and sausage that we enjoyed on the back porch. (although he insisted on making the pancakes – saying no one makes them as good as Dad!)

During breakfast, he was surrounded by the lively chattering of all his girls (and Daniel threw in some boy noises for good measure) as well as several dear young ladies that he has been a father figure to who joined us for the days events. Before long it was time to pile into the van and head out of town to enjoy a day at the ball game where Dans favorite team (the Oakland A’s) would take on across the bay rivals the San Fransisco Giants.

We arrived at the beautiful ball park right on the Frisco Bay with plenty of time to enjoy a leisurelytailgate party with all the fixen’s – ribs, brats, corn on the cob, fresh fruit, chips and cookies. (and yes we both took the day off from the “healthy eating plan”!) The weather was simply gorgeous  – a light breeze blew through the sunny stadium that was a perfect70 degrees. We had great seats overlooking the Bay Bridge while watching the A’s beat the Giants in a 5-3 decision. We returned home to ice cream sundaes and a movie in the family room while we soaked our feet in warm water and applied moisturizer to our lightly sunburned skin. We all slept soundly after our fun filled day.

As I was reflecting on the “perfect day” I thought about how incredibly blessed my children are to have Dan Lambdin as their father. I hope and pray that each one of my daughters will find and choose such a man to be the father to their children. 

To my dear daughters (and those who are like my daughters),

Before long you will enter into a season of life where you will choose a man to marry.  Too often young ladies concentrate on things that are shallow and even trivial when they dream of the man they will someday marry.  The “short list” I hear from many a girl is that they want them to be handsome (or I believe the current term is “hot”), physically strong, funny, romantic and earn a good living (ie: be rich).  Let me assure you that those things are the least important attributes you can look for. I am sure many wise women out there who have “been there, done that” can attest to this truth.

When I hear women complaining about their husbands and their lack of help with or interest in the children, I can’t help but think –  that is what you chose!  At least here in America your marriage is not arranged or forced on you – no, you get to choose the man who will someday be the father to your children!

  • Choose a man who likes babies.  Look for the one who is drawn to the little ones and who puts out his arms to hold them, who is comfortable with playing “peek-a-boo” and who is not too cool to change the tone of his voice and make goofy faces to make a connection with babies.
  • Choose a man who is self sacrificing – who you see regularly denying his own desires and putting others before himself. (not only giving of his time, talent & treasure to help his family and friends but also volunteering and serving others without getting anything in return)
  • Choose a man who speaks with the mindset that children are a blessing not a burden, a miracle not a mistake, an asset not an accident and a treasure not a taxing financial drain
  • Choose a man who like Jesus says – “Let the little children come to me”
  • Choose a man who is pro life – who has a heart and compassion for the unborn
  • Choose a  man who believes that every child is created by God and who does not want to limit or miss out on the children that the Lord has to give him – whether by birth or adoption into his family
  • Choose a man who loves the Lord with all his heart, soul, mind and strength

Choosing a husband, the future father of your children is the single most important decision you will ever make outside of choosing to serve the Lord.  Choose well.

Love,

Mom

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11 Comments

Filed under Courtship, Family Traditions, Inspiration, Life at the Lambdins, Marriage

11 responses to “Choose Well

  1. Donna Nelson

    Beth I cannot agree more with you….If you find a good daddy you find a good thing!! I have so many friends that make comments about what a great dad Tom is and wish their husbands would spend half the amount of time with their kids..let me brag for a moment here Tom is involved in every activitiy our children do no matter what it happens to be it becomes his greatest intrest. He takes time everyday to sit and talk with each one and hold them and tell them how special they are.
    I would not trade what I have in a husband or father for all the money in the world! I pray my girls will also find a great man like their daddy and our son will be like his daddy! Sorry did not mean to be so long :)!

  2. mya

    Beth,
    I am a friend of Nene’s and came by to take a peek. I wish every young girl had the opportunity to hear your message. So many of us get married when we are very young and lead with only our hearts and not our heads. Many girls do ot have a voice of reason to deliver a message such as yours and the legacy of bad fathers is passed on. Thank you for your words. I hope they will make a difference to someone out there listening.
    Blessings to you,
    Mya

  3. Hi Beth,

    I am so moved by your passion for your daughters as well as “young girls” to make the right decision in their future mate.

    With this said, I am so tickled my dear hubby is going on a “camp out for the cub scouts as a Den Leader for his all the boys in his crew” this weekend. He and Jared are leaving tomorrow. I treasure those moments when he spends time with not only my sons but when I see him play with little Mila. It truly is important for Fathers to play such an important role in the lives of their children.

    I had a wonderful father growing up…but more then anything I remember his devotion to the Lord and my mother. At that speaks Volume. Every little girl wants to find a man like their father. I really believe God intended for this. If that is the case Your lovely girls will find a wonderful man.

    They have an Awesome example.

    Love,
    Jeannene
    (nene)

  4. Sheree

    Can I borrow this letter to your daughters for my own? I really wish someone would have said this to me when I was growing up.

  5. Beth, I can so attest to the virtues your wonderful husband.

    Before he was even a father, he was that to many of us in the youth group. He took my sisters and I and loved on us and showed us a father’s love since we had lost our earthly father so soon. I am especially grateful for the memories of Dan living out the example of Christ likeness before us. Two of my favorite memories is of Dan asking me to weed the church grounds with him. It was invaluable time to learn from his godly example of service. Another is going to the downtown abortion clinic and sharing the LOVE OF CHRIST with the ladies and clinic workers.

    Faith in action is probably one of the reasons I am now living on the mission field. Dan showed us a faith that not only speaks of love but actually brings a cup of cold water to that needy person.

    Thanks a million for pointing me to Jesus Dan (and you as well Beth 🙂
    always,
    :)geigy.

  6. I have always maintained that children and animals are honest judges of character. A man liked by adults but avoided by animals and children is suspicious in my book.

    In addition to the criteria listed above to look for in a man, I would add to accept only someone who is secure enough in himself to allow you to be yourself. My husband has always been extremely respectful of me and any activities I choose to undertake. This has been important as my sense of self has changed through the years with my varying roles of wife, mother, & entrepreneur.

    Finally, I would caution young women against assuming that a man will change once married or that they themselves can change a man. In a good marriage, both people impact each other in positive ways, but you shouldn’t expect someone to change who he is in order for the marriage to be successful.

  7. Gloria Borden

    You found a good man to be your husband because your parents prayed that God would lead all of their children to find that special someone He had chosen for them, and they would be receptive. Also, you had a wonderful role model in your own father who always said, “The best thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.” Dan certainly demonstrates that wisdom.
    Love,
    Mom

  8. Ann

    My own sister just emailed me this post with the letter to your daughters. I plan on sharing it with my dd’s, too. Love your blog and I see you’re not too far away from us. Thanks for the encouraging words!
    Ann

  9. You are truly blessed Beth! And the good thing is that you know that you are!

    I wish and hope that my daughter too finds a man as good as yours and my husband – I have to admit he squirms when he has to go to Doctor’s offices and appointments because he hates them so but he goes because he knows he is their daddy and wants to know everything that is going on with them. He has even sacrificed having a career to be a stay at home dad because he loves being with the kids and watch them grow up – something most men will not do. He is finishing his degree so that when he is done, he can go to work and I can stay home with the kids and he can work so that I don’t have to anymore.
    We have 5 wonderful kids – 1 girl and 4 boys and God is blessing us with number 6 in the late fall so I can only hope that we are as happy and as filled with love as you and your family are!

    God bless!

  10. “Love Conquers All” sent me over here and I am so pleased to find you. Your blog is inspiring!

    My oldest daughter is currently engaged and we are planning her August wedding. Along the way in her dating life we shared with people our ideas for helping her to find a great man and many of our acquaintances gave us that “blank stare” as if we were crazy for being that “idealistic”! Some even said, “good luck with that!” as I am sure they snickered behind our back!

    Well, we are happy to say that our daughter found a gem (at age 20!) who honors God, honors her, honors us as her parents and loves her 8 year old brother. She is young but we know she chose the right man for her. I am at peace about her wedding and marriage because we took the time to talk with her and instill in her what was truly important. And she took the advice to heart!

    Great post,
    Melissa

  11. Beth – thanks for taking a look at my site. I am always inspired by your blog, and the regularity with which you write – posting pictures and everything. I hope you especially got to look at the M.O.R.E. project section of this site, which is what inspired me to get involved with it.
    God guide you and keep you on track – my wishes for success with the tile floor!! (I know how to do that – it’s FUN!!)
    Renette Christensen
    (Creative Memories blog subscriber)

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