Category Archives: My “take”

September 13, 2010 · 12:54 pm

Chores “It’s a Hard Knock Life” – Part 2

Isn’t it just the way it goes?

I write a post on chores and training your children to be good workers and what happens? You guessed it…we had one of the worst weeks of chore conflict in years! Yes, complete with angry kids, an angry mom, screaming, accusations, defensiveness, crying and punishments. Not fun! (Calgon..take me away…far away)

I guess I should have anticipated that happening. Immediately after posting Chores – “It’s a Hard Knock Life” last Monday the “hits” on that blog entry sky rocketed, the comments came in one after another and the requests for my list of chores for each room were too numerous to count. It obviously is an area of struggle and desire for improvement for many of us Moms (and Dads too – Hi Tim!). I have learned during my 25 years of preaching, motivational speaking, sharing and writing that when you truly have something to say that adds value to others in any area of life you can count on being “attacked” in that very area. We had a full force war going on over here last week!

The end results were good as we identified several problem areas, realized that I needed to be a bit more “hands on” in my training during this particular season in our family and we dealt head on with some character flaws in a few of the children (the “L” word – L.A.Z.Y.). 

For all who asked for the list of chore details per room here is a PDF of this document  – Chore List (HT: my sister Caroline)

And for those inquiring minds that want more information…here is a list of FAQ’s

What if the kids do not do their chores?

Ummmmm…I am the boss, the dictator, the Mom! Obedience is not optional. 🙂

That said, with 8 children I have had my share of strong-willed, defiant children (and a couple “perfect” ones too!). Some take longer to get under control than others. (working on 15 years with one…love that “apple who didn’t fall far from the tree” girl!) Some take more supervision. Some need effective consequences. But everyone knows that they must comply. It is truly as simple as this – You do not get to do anything fun, go anywhere or have any thing that resembles a “good time” until the chores are completed to my satisfaction. (and yes, there have been times that they have missed a meal or stayed up past their bedtime and suffered the early morning wake up call….but you do not go to sleep until it is done!)

 What if they are not done like you would do them? 

 It depends!  I do not expect the younger ones to be able to do the same level of cleaning that I can do…so I “get over it”. (nope I do not “re-do” or complain)  However by the time they reach about 12 – 14 years old I expect them to clean as well as any competent adult. (and if they can’t then I need to do some re-education)

What age did you start different chores? 

When they are 2-4 they are expected to throw away trash, pick up toys, get dressed, brush their teeth and follow Mommy around watching and learning.  I let them help with lots of things. These are great ages because they usually want to help out!

At 4-6 they are “in training” – which means they get put on the chore chart as an “assistant” to one of the older children. I realize if you have only 2 or 3 children close together or when you are beginning with your eldest this will not work thus you will have to be the “trainer” with an assistant.  During these two to three years they learn how to do all the various chore jobs. (apparently all trainers are not equal since while I was writing this my 7-year-old did not sweep the crumbs from under the dining room table and then blamed her trainers – aka – the “big sisters” for not teaching her correctly…hmmmm….girls?)

At 7 they are put officially on the chore chart fully responsible for their list of chores for that week. Each year after that they should get more accurate and efficient with their given responsibilities. By 12 they should be able to clean for any cleaning service in town! 🙂

How did you keep the little ones on task the whole time without them running away to play? 

Since they have a “trainer” (you or your older children) they do not have the option of running away or getting distracted. 

Is it too late to start at 13?

It is never too late!  However you will need to have a little “pow wow” and share your reasoning for the changes that are ahead.  I would come up with a plan for chores and then sit down with the older child or children, tell them that you have been remiss in teaching them some basic responsibilities in life and that you need to make up for lost time.  The first month I would “roll up my sleeves” and teach them (by doing it with them) to do every chore in your home.  Then I would put up a chore chart and let them take on the household responsibilities. Since they are older I would also have a clear list of consequences for not completing the chores. (and they need to be “painful” if they are going to work – ie: no cell phone privileges, no Xbox, no Internet, no weekend social activities…whatever is their “button”.)

As the kids get older and their schedules & academic pursuits get more intense how do you handle household chores?

First let me say….there are many reasons and seasons that you will need to adjust your chore plan during the years your children are home. We went along with the same schedule for years with only occasional adjustments (like during each of my pregnancies where I was sick and sometimes bed ridden and my husband got to take over the Upper Management position) but when the eldest child started a rigorous academic high school program and also joined athletics and student council we realized we needed to change things up.  That was seven years ago and we have consistently made changes since then – having a unique school year plan, weekend plan and summer plan. 

That is not to say that anyone “gets off” easy just that we move things around to make the system work better.  High School with all its additional demands and responsibilities is a great time to learn effective time management, how to handle stress, priorities, occasional sleep deprivation and that sometimes there is more to accomplish than there are hours in a day. Sounds like a typical adult life to me…and don’t we want them to be prepared and ready to handle being an adult?

Is your house clean all the time? 

Ha! Not at all….but it is usually picked up and presentable. Occasionally it is pristine.  Occassionally it looks like a tornado hit it! (and we let people come over anytime regardless of the state of our home because people are our priority)

You mentioned cooking – is that on the chore chart?

We actually have a monthly dinner calendar posted on the fridge.  It lists everything we will be having for dinner that month. Above each meal is usually listed one of the older children’s names who will be in charge of making that meal.  We spent much of the early years of parenting doing “Once a Month Cooking” and having home-made ready cooked meals in the freezer. On the cooking days the kids helped out and learned many cooking skills.  

I do believe that our children need to know basic cooking skills and how to prepare a healthy meal before they leave our home.

And what about that allowance?

Ok…so lots of you are interested in the how’s, why’s or why not’s of allowance. I promise a post on that soon!

Also, be sure to check out the comments on the first chore post for lots of other good ideas from my readers.

Lastly….I thought I would share with you one of my many “Memo from Mom” an occasional email exchange I have with the family when I have decided not to become a screaming maniac but rather calmly (albeit sarcastically) share my grievances about the household. Although I will confess sometimes I am that screaming maniac…God forgive me!

My dear darling daughters…

Seriously…..
 
Do we really spill spaghetti sauce in the fridge & then leave it there to harden & be disgusting? (of course the other amazing thing is how many other people have opened the fridge & just ignored it)
 
Can no one tell the laundry garbage can needs to be emptied even when it is overflowing & spilling out on the floor?
 
Why is the tortilla bag NEVER….and I mean NEVER zip locked shut?
 
How many times do I have to tell you that cheese must be sealed completely with foil or a tightly secured zip lock?
 
Can someone please explain to me how one can not see a dark red shirt in the middle of the whites as you are putting them in the washer?? (try to blame it on Joy cuz that will show competence)
 
Why would someone put 9 month old clothing in Daniel’s drawer (he is 3 now!)…or how bout his PJ’s in the drawer with his bathing suits…or pants in the drawer with shirts or everything just thrown in the drawer not folded…or his nice church vest in the play closet…seriously??? seriously??? seriously??? Oh wait…his tie behind the toaster…come on ladies! <sigh of exasparation>
 
Ok….that’s it, just had to vent a bit.
 
I love you all!  Zoot! Zoot! Zoot!
 
Mommy
 

 

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Filed under Life at the Lambdins, Life Lessons, Motherhood, My "take", Parenting

September 7, 2010 · 7:34 am

21 gifts of guidance for my 21 year old

How is it that I have a 21 year old daughter? I can remember so clearly my own 21st birthday – I went to my senior classes at the University of the Pacific during the day and then was joined by several college friends for a small backyard birthday barbecue at Pastor John Butrin’s home that was also the culmination of my summer internship at Lincoln Neighborhood Church. I was loving my Lord and my life, surrounded by dear friends and excited about my future plans! I can still remember that day with joy in my heart.

Today my own daughter is turning 21. She too is a young, energetic and enthusiastic student attending The King’s College in New York City. She has many good friends and will likely be celebrating her birthday tonight surrounded by those who love her. She has a bright future ahead of her and I could not be more thrilled with her character, her life choices and her commitment to her faith.

For her 21st birthday instead of a gift of “things” I want to give her my gift of guidance as she reaches this new milestone in life that here in the USA signifies a “coming of age” or adulthood. (although being the counter-culture family that we are…we have raised our children to enter adulthood much younger so in some ways this is just another birthday)

Michelle…here are 21 “gifts of guidance” from your Mom who knows that you desire to have a life that is lived to its fullness, a life that is lived well and a life that makes an impact on the world! May these 21 gifts encourage you, challenge you and inspire you to live that life!

1.  Never leave your first love – Jesus. He is the most faithful friend, the best big brother, a passionate intimate beloved and warm, loving father.

2. Never stop believing in and meditating on the inspired inerrant Word of God…even with all the facts on your side…it still takes faith.

3. Be thankful every day for the firm foundation you received growing up in a committed Christian home – it is truly an amazing blessing.

4. Let God be God…because we are not. The sooner you relinquish to Christ complete control of your life and your future the better off you will be.

5. Flee temptation…never was there a better word from God…and yet we often ignore it because sin feels good, tastes good and looks good. It never turns out to be good. Run!

6. Remember it is not the hard things that happen to you along the way that matter…it is how you respond. God is more interested in your response.

7. You will truly look back at the tough times in life and be so thankful for what they brought you…so why not just be thankful in the midst of them?

8. God wants to meet all of your needs – physical, emotional, spiritual, mental – so just let Him.

9. Do not believe it when people say “it can’t be done” or “that will never happen”  – with God all things are possible!

10. Everyday God puts divine appointments right in front of you – don’t get distracted and miss them – it is one of the greatest delights of life.

11. Give, give, and give some more….you will simply be given even more to turn around and give more! Give to everyone who asks of you – your time, your talent or your treasure!

12. Wait for a man who is passionately committed to our God and who will be a life partner and together you will do more for the kingdom of God than you could have ever accomplished alone – there is nothing better than being married to a man who shares your love for the Lord and your life purpose.

13. Worship with full abandon…sing loudly, turn up the music, dance, clap, shout, raise your hands, bow before him, pour out your heart in praise, let His creation awe and inspire you. This is what you were created for!

14. Adopt!

15. Don’t buy into Christian “worldy wisdom” on children, safety, dating & relationships, retirement, material possessions, sharing your stuff or “praying about things” that are clearly commanded to do in His word.

16. Don’t waste time in trivial pursuits – if it is not about God, relationships, people, service or ministry – do not give much of your life to it.

17. Pursue friendships with those who will encourage you, challenge your faith and take you to a deeper level. (skip the shallowness of talking to your girlfriends about where to get your nails done, how much those jeans cost, why they are mad at their husbands, shopping or the latest “void of value” TV show).

18. Be faithful and true to your word, to the body of Christ, to your marriage, to your family & friends.

19. If you see a need…meet it! (you don’t have to be “called”)

20. If you are continually looking for ways to love and serve others…you will never have time to be depressed, bored or critical.

21. Compared to eternity…life here is so very, very short. Invest your life in eternity!

To my amazing, awesome, beautiful, strong, tenacious, determined, creative, passionate, purposeful, lovely, gracious, compassionate, enthusiastic, helpful, influential, Christlike first-born daughter….Happy 21st Birthday! I love you so much Michelle-my-belle! I know that God has great plans for your life and I will be cheering you on!

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Filed under Attitude, Blessings, Faith, Inspiration, Life at the Lambdins, Life Lessons, My "take"

September 6, 2010 · 10:54 pm

Chores – “It’s a Hard Knock Life!”

This is the song often heard blasting through the CD player as my kids were doing their chores.  I guess it makes them feel better as they “slave away” for hours (their perception) completing their individual list of chores for the day.  And as a gracious Mom/Boss who has achieved “upper management” status, I simply smile and let them play it as loud as they want….as long as the job gets done! (which by the way can mostly be accomplished in much less than 1 hour)

I have been asked by many recently to share my “take” on chores and how that area of life plays out for the Lambdin family.  So…here it goes:

I am sure there are as many philosophies, ideas and plans for chores as there are families.  Some families choose to have their kids do minimal chores or even none at all…either hiring help or having Mom do most of the work (after all no one does it as good as mom does, right?). Others  attempt to have their kids take on some chores but don’t follow-up or follow through and end up fighting constantly.  Many do not take the time to train their children how to do the chore properly and then get mad when they do not “do it right”.  Some wonder if they are requiring too much or too little. And I think I can safely say that everyone that has ever lived with more than just themselves has struggled in this area of chores.

My chore philosophy:

  1. Children need to do chores. As a matter of fact everyone living together in a household should have responsibilities in that home.
  2. Children can learn many things through chores – a good work ethic, responsibility, overcoming laziness, pride at a job well done, teamwork, leadership, initiative and appreciation.  Now there is a great list of character qualities that we should all be wanting to instill in our children! (and I bet some of you in business would love to hire people with these qualities to work for you)
  3. Children are capable of beginning simple chores at a very young age (by 2 they can throw away trash, pick up toys etc..) and before the end of their first decade of life they should be competent in most household duties.
  4. My job (at least one of them as it applies to chores & raising my children) is that by the time they leave my home they have mastered all household chores. (Define all: bathrooms from top to bottom, laundry – washing, drying, folding, floors, windows, dusting, vacuuming, dishes, kitchen from top to bottom, defrosting refrigerator, cleaning out cars, weeding, lawn mowing, trash, organizing, de-cluttering, ceiling fans, blinds, simple sewing, ironing and cooking) And this goes for boy & girls…they all need to know how to do these things even if they grow up and hire it out, simply do not do it or have their spouse do it. (I rarely iron because my love is so much better at it than I am…but I do know how)
  5. It is my responsibility (because I am in upper management) to train them on how to do the job, to give clear written expectations, to follow-up and then to recognize them for a job well done.

Now with that said…there are many different seasons in family life and that means we are continually adjusting our chore charts, responsibilities and schedules as our family grows and changes.  For example when I had 4 children ages 6, 3, 18 months and a newborn the chores were mainly done by myself, my husband and my eldest daughter.  As they grew older I spent a lot of time on training.  By the time the eldest reached the age of 10, she stepped into the training role followed quickly by the younger sisters.  During the “middle years” I can honestly say I did nothing…but supervise. It was fabulous! (a well oiled machine!) I am still in that supervisory role but when the older kids began high school (that we see as the serious academic training years) then we had to adjust their chores to weekends & summertime responsibilities putting me back in a more hands on training role with the “littles”.

Ok, ok so you want to see some “practical” ideas not just to hear my theory.

Here you go:

First of all we have always had a chore chart on the refrigerator or bulletin board.  For years I had many months mapped out at a time. (and sadly I never took a photo of those charts…complete with creativity and colorful stickers!  But I assure you I could have been hired as a personnel director for a major company.)  Now we only have one month mapped out at a time because of the multitudes of directions the high schoolers are going, a college student coming home for summer & holidays and thus being added to the chore chart and my new season of having more littles at home daily than big kids.

Here is what the current chore chart looks like:

This allows everyone to easily see at any given moment who has what chore.  We have always chosen to have our kids rotate chores weekly so that they do not get “stuck” too long with an undesirable chore and so that they learn how to do each chore well with years of practice (repetition is the key to learning!). 

Now along with the chore chart calendar….we have a written list of what needs to be done within each chore assignment (complete with check off boxes for those first-born obsessive compulsives who love to check things off a list, for those “beavers” who need accuracy and to do it “right” and it even provides something to color for the free-spirited kids who colored through the entire line with a different color crayon).   There is a check list of things that needed to be done daily as well as things that only needed to be done weekly (we pick one day a week that we call “big clean up” where everything is “spic & span” – deep cleaned – and mommy loves this day!) There were even things that only needed to be done monthly and so we picked one day a month to do those specific chores.

This is what those chore lists look like (and I have this on a computer document so I can adjust and change as needed. I make dozens of copies at a time and put them in a hanging pocket holder for easy access…thus eliminating the “I didn’t know I had to do that in the bathroom” excuse) –

Bathroom

Daily

  • [ ] Toilet, counters, sink – wiped off with Clorox wipes
  • [ ] Floor swept
  • [ ] Rugs vacuumed
  • [ ] Trash emptied (both bathrooms)
  • [ ] Picked up
  • [ ] Mirrors cleaned

1x a week – big clean up

  • [ ] Toilet, Tub, Counters & sink SCRUBBED
  • [ ] Floor scrubbed (hands & knees)
  • [ ] Walls washed
  • [ ] Organize Towels
  • [ ] Clean soap container
  • [ ] Fill up cabinet with toilet paper
  • [ ] clean vase/flowers
  • [ ] Remove Cob Webs

monthly

  • [ ] Organize drawers & hair accessories

I have similar lists for the bedroom, kitchen, living room, laundry, family/school room & backyard (if you would like a copy just leave a comment and I will send you my word document)

Here is where the lists are located and how they are organized:

As the kids get older they usually no longer need a check off list but they still come in handy when they are training the “littles” or of they start slacking off and need a reminder of what they are supposed to be doing.

One more thing – we do not give our kids an allowance for doing chores (actually we do not give allowances at all…but that is for another post) as we believe everyone has a responsibility to take care of our home. We do however have a few paid opportunities that are not on anyones chore list and yet still need to be done.  They change on occasion but until our recent finacial crunch they have been: Mom & Dad’s bathroom,  the china hutch (completely emptying & cleaning), weeding, cleaning the garage.

There it is in a “nutshell”…if you have more questions (What if the kids do not do their chores? What if they are not done like you would do them? What ages do they get added to the actual chore chart?  Is my house clean?  You mentioned cooking – is that on the chore chart? Or any other question) just leave them in the comment section and I’ll answer there so everyone can read them.

And I am sure other readers as well as myself would love to hear how you handle chores in your house, helpful hints or great solutions…leave those comments as well and we can all learn from each other.

Perfect post for Labor Day thinks this Upper Management Mom!

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Filed under Life at the Lambdins, Life Lessons, My "take", Parenting

June 13, 2010 · 5:24 pm

Overwhelm them with love & appreciation

“And now, friends, we ask you to honor those leaders who work so hard for you, who have been given the responsibility of urging and guiding you along in your obedience. Overwhelm them with appreciation and love!”  1 Thessalonians 5:12-13

Tonight we will attend a very special service for the pastor who has served our home church, Lakeview Assembly of God, for over 22 years! (from 1975-1983 and then again from 1993 – 2009)  We do not attend Sunday evening service on a regular basis (this has been a purposeful decision on our part not just a haphazard “we don’t feel like going” thing – that is another blog post) but tonight we will be there to honor this very special man and his wife who committed over two decades to pastoring, teaching, counseling and ministering to our church and our family. Pastor Kraft is one of  four men who have been my pastor since I have made Lakeview my home over 27 years ago.

I was not a member during his first term at Lakeview. I began attending shortly after he moved to Washington to pastor a church there, yet I benefited from the countless people whose lives he touched during that era – men like Dr. Cliff Kelly, Donnie Moore, Tim Ditmore & Tom Cudd who each had a profound influence at different seasons of my life.  He also laid the foundation for a season of prosperity and growth for that small church he left behind.  During those years I became a member of this church, was a youth intern, the youth pastor for 4 years, got married, had two children and was a part of seeing the church move from a small run down building on Porter Way to the property we now reside in on Quail Lakes Drive and then expand the building to double its size in cooperation with my then employer, Brookside Christian High School.  Pastor John Butrin took over the baton from Pastor Kraft and then passed it on to Pastor Chan Keith. It was a season of great growth & excitement for the church.

When he returned to pastor our church in 1993 he got to “ride the wave” of growth and blessings  for awhile and then things got tough…moral failures of staff, poor financial decisions, conflict between members, anger, law suits, negative press and more seemed to plague the church and its members over the years and took its toll on many causing them to leave the church.  However despite it all great things happened as well…many people were saved during his tenure as pastor, the spirit of worship always prevailed over the services, his openness and encouragement of the gifts of the Spirit allowed many to experience the miraculous and others to step out in faith and begin ministries of their own. 

Personally he has added value to my life in many many ways.

  • He always had a kind word and a smile for me
  • His life of godly living & purity was a fine example to me and my family
  • He was always there to listen to problems and pray you through, never claiming to have all the answers or a solution
  • He was humble (a character quality sadly lacking in many leaders today) & always approachable
  • He loved the Lord and His church and that is contagious
  • He dedicated 6 of my children to the Lord!

 There are hundreds of believers throughout this area and beyond whose lives were touched while attending Lakeview Assembly under Pastor Kraft’s leadership who should be there tonight to honor him and yet….. chances are they won’t be in attendance.  They will either not be aware of this service or perhaps be busy elsewhere or even ministering at other churches and unable to attend.  Some will be too busy or others just plain not interested in honoring this man. (as anyone who has been in ministry for any length of time knows there are always those who just do not like the pastor or leader and let their feelings lead them instead of obeying God’s word to honor them…ouch…sorry if I stepped on your toes!)  Many will think kind thoughts or say a prayer of thanksgiving but will not actually take the time or energy to “overwhelm them with love & appreciation”.   Unfortunately this seems to be the case at most churches across the country, a lack of love and appreciation for those in the ministry.  More often we are quicker with our criticism and complaints than we are with our love & appreciation.  And sadly we often wait until someone is gone before we share our words of  thankfulness and love.

My hope & prayer is that everyone reading this blog will take the time to share their appreciation & love in an overwhelming way to their current pastor as well as previous pastors or leaders of ministries that have served them.  And not just the “perfect pastors” or the ones you particularly liked or “clicked with”  or always agreed with, but each one who has led or served you in ministry. They have all helped in different ways to move you closer to the Lord. Overwhelm them today!

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Filed under Attitude, Life Lessons, My "take"

October 31, 2009 · 5:59 pm

All Hallows Eve

Ok, so we don’t “do” Halloween…

Now before you get all stressed out that I am depriving my kids of fun (or candy) I am just a “stick in the mud” or that I am somehow condemning or judging those who do choose to observe Halloween…take a deep breath & RELAX. 🙂

  1. I really have no opinion on those who observe Halloween in any way they choose (with the exception of doing evil or immoral activities that harm others).  Dress up, don’t dress up. Go to a Halloween party or don’t go to a party.  Call it a fall festival or Trunk or Treat…I have no comments or judgements at all….really!  It is just something that we have chosen to basically ignore as part of our family life.
  2. Do not worry that my kids feel deprived or like they have missed out on something special.  Those that know us well…know that the Lambdin household is one ongoing party and that there are multitudes of opportunities for fun!  We dress up many times throughout the year (Daniel has been a cowboy for a month) and in fact we have half of a closet completely devoted to dress up clothes.  There is also plenty of good eating going on in this house (too much if you judge it by my waistline) We even watch “It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown”.
  3. I love the fall season – our house is fun & festive with decorations, we eat yummy soups, breads & baked goodies like pies, apple & pumpkin dump cakes, cookies, popcorn balls & more!  We go to Apple Hill & the Pumpkin Patch for special family outings.   Since a “picture paints a thousand words” – look at the fun – these kids don’t look deprived!

fall1

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fall5

fall6

DSCN7664

DSCN7669

Ok, maybe I am a “stick in the mud” for wanting to pass on the stress, cost, time & work of arranging costumes & schedules (I can see how costuming can be fun I just need my creative juices for other endeavours), the temptation and rules to enforce that come with  having WAY too much candy in my home the week after Halloween, fighting the crowds at the church festivals & trying to keep track of my little ones & play games while really wanting to just chat with the adults there, passing out candy to kids with fake blood coming out of their mouths (although I love seeing the cute costumes!) or those who look like they are in their late teens & not even in a costume (or maybe it was a “gang banger” costume)…to name a few of the things I get to avoid by just not participating.

And for those inquiring minds, yes  Dan and I do have personal ideological views on Halloween that have been the foundation of why we choose to ignore this particular holiday. (and I am more than willing to share that with you if you are interested)  How we observe Halloween is just like most Christians observe religious holidays like Ramadan,   Yom Kippur, Vesak or Maha Sivaratri, they simply are not a part of their family life. Or you could compare it to how most Americans do not celebrate other countries national holidays (nor do they even know them for the most part). Halloween is just a another day in our home.

That said…I do feel most people do not know much about Halloween other than the basic – dress up in costumes, trick or treat, or adult Halloween parties. (by the way when did Halloween become such a HUGE adult thing??….back in “the day” it was mostly a kid holiday with a few side adult features…not so much anymore…but I digress) 

Halloween, which should be correctly said as “All Hallows Eve” is the night before All Saints Day, an important day to Christian Catholics, when they pray for those who have passed on from this life. (like Christmas Eve is the night before Christmas day, All Hallows Eve is the night before All Saints Day). For Christian Protestants today is Reformation Day. The Reformation began on October 31, 1517, when German monk Martin Luther nailed his 95 Theses to the Castle Church door in Wittenberg, Germany. This was one of the most influential events of the past 1,000 years.

Martin Luther made a translation of the Bible from Greek and Hebrew into German. Soon all the countries of Europe followed his example by translating the Scriptures into their languages. For the first time in history, the recently invented printing press made the Word of God available to all the people.

So….

  •  to my Christian Catholic friends…Blessed All Hallows Eve & All Saints Day!
  • to my Christian Protestant friends…Blessed Reformation Day!
  • and to all Christians (especially those of us who enjoy living in free countries) may you celebrate with great thanksgiving the fact that the Word of God is in print and as close as your bookshelf, bedroom or computer and that you can read it anytime you choose.  Why not take some time to open up that life changing book and do some reading today and everyday?

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Filed under Family Traditions, Life at the Lambdins, My "take"

September 13, 2009 · 5:02 pm

What I am….and what I am not

I so wish that I could have been in Washington DC for the 9/12 March yesterday.  In fact just last Sunday I was looking at airline tickets and trying to figure out a way to come up with the money to fly out there. In case you are unaware of what the 9/12 March was…let me give you the 411.  The march yesterday which drew tens of thousands of people (some estimate 2 million) from all across America was a gathering of people from every walk of life, every race, every creed, every political and non political party who wanted to express their desire to see America return to 9 basic principles and 12 values. 

Here are the 9 principles:

  1.  America is good
  2. I believe in God and He is the center of my life
     “The propitious smiles of Heaven can never be expected on a nation that disregards the eternal rules of order and right which Heaven itself has ordained.” from George Washington´s first Inaugural address.
  3.   I must always try to be a more honest person than I was yesterday.
    “I hope that I shall always possess firmness and virtue enough to maintain what I consider to be the most enviable of all titles, the character of an honest man.” George Washington
  4. The family is sacred. My spouse and I are the ultimate authority, not the government.
    “It is in the love of one´s family only that heartfelt happiness is known. By a law of our nature, we cannot be happy without the endearing connections of a family.” Thomas Jefferson
  5. If you break the law you pay the penalty. Justice is blind and no one is above it.
      “I deem one of the essential principles of our government… equal and exact justice to all men of whatever state or persuasion, religious or political.” Thomas Jefferson
  6.  I have a right to life, liberty and pursuit of happiness, but there is no guarantee of equal results.
    “Everyone has a natural right to choose that vocation in life which he thinks most likely to give him comfortable subsistence.” Thomas Jefferson
  7. I work hard for what I have and I will share it with who I want to. Government cannot force me to be charitable.
     “It is not everyone who asketh that deserveth charity; all however, are worth of the inquiry or the deserving may suffer.” George Washington
  8. It is not un-American for me to disagree with authority or to share my personal opinion.
     “In a free and republican government, you cannot restrain the voice of the multitude; every man will speak as he thinks, or more properly without thinking.” George Washington
  9.  The government works for me. I do not answer to them, they answer to me.
     “I consider the people who constitute a society or a nation as the source of all authority in that nation.” Thomas Jefferson

Here are the 12 values:

  • Honesty
  • Reverence
  •  Hope
  • Thrift
  • Humility
  • Charity
  • Sincerity
  • Moderation
  • Hard Work
  • Courage
  • Personal Responsibility
  • Gratitude

And yes they were there to protest – the current healthcare reform, the increase in government spending and trillion dollar deficit, tax increases, wealth redistribution to name a few. Here is a great slide show from a blogger friend of mine was there so you can see it for yourself  –http://picasaweb.google.com/BarbarasMommyLife/912MarchOnWashingtonDC?feat=embedwebsite#

These values & principles as well as protests combined with my pro-life/anti-abortion (let me be clear with the facts of science – abortion is the killing of a baby and should not happen in any society – there is an answer to unwanted babies it is called adoption) passion is what I am (or striving to be as I certainly have not arrived in several of these areas).

 During the past several months many of our leaders and media have classified people like me who have attended marches, tea parties, town hall meetings or protests in very unbecoming and untrue way. 

I am not:

  • a Nazi  — I have never been nor will ever embrace socialism, white supremacy, anti-Semitism or fascism
  • a racist — I do not see color or race but rather as Martin Luther King hoped for, I judge people on the content of their character.  I have very close friends of most every race – African American, Filipino, Mexican, South American, Korean. Oh and did I mention I have a precious & perfect baby girl who happens to be black that we adopted here in the USA?
  • un American — I am a proud & patriotic American, raised in a third generation military family with both of my grandfathers serving in WWII (and one giving his life there).  I have voted in every election since I turned 18, proudly fly the American flag daily and participated in the celebration of our country, our national holidays and the democratic process my entire life.
  • astroturf – this new name given to those protesting who are supposedly being paid to go protest by some big organization or corporation. Ummmm…no one has paid this lady a dime, nor recruited me let alone even talked to me. And FYI…I do not watch Fox news (have only had television reception since last Thursday), have never listened to Glen Beck (although I would love to) and catch perhaps a grand total of 1 hour per week of conservative talk radio while I am in the car driving my kids to all their actvities. 
  • a homeland terrorist – I have never ever been involved in acts of violence or coercion against America or anyone for that matter and just because I am pro life, against illegal immigration, believe in state & local authority  and  am conservative I am going to be labeled a terrorist?
  • “fishy” – simply by having legitimate concerns about the current healthcare reform bill and sharing those concerns with others makes me suspicious…hmmmm.
  • a “tea bagger” – I am too classy to even respond to this base name calling by our media
  • a moron  – some refered to yesterdays demonstration as the “Million Moron March”  So now I am being called a moron.  (I was there in spirit if not in flesh) I do not claim to be the brightest individual in the world but I am not stupid (the technical definition is an adult with the mental age of 8-12) and in fact graduated in the top 12 of my high school class (albeit in the California public schools), scored a 1200 on my SAT’s and earned a college degree from UOP.

Ok, I just thought I’d clear that up for everyone..although I doubt that the people who called me those names are reading my blog!  I will be at the next march and despite my very full life (ummm….8 children, homeschooling Mom, Director of Development for JECHS, Creative Memories Consultant and trying to do something to promote adoption) I will be campaigning for new congressmen & new senators that reflect what I am.

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Filed under Life at the Lambdins, Life Lessons, My "take", Pro-life

August 25, 2009 · 10:25 pm

Where there is a will…there is a way!

I grew up in a family who ate dinner together….

at the table…

with the TV turned OFF…

every night…

at 6pm. 

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My Mom and Dad raised four children who were active, healthy, drug, alcohol & tobacco free, high academic achievers, student leaders with solid moral standards and a strong Christian faith.  Now while I don’t think that eating dinner together regularly guarantees you parenting success, the statistics are pretty convincing that this sacred ritual is something worth making a priority in our homes.

Research by The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse (CASA) at Columbia University consistently finds the more often children eat dinner with their families:

  • The less likely they are to smoke, drink or use illegal drugs  (100 – 191% less likely)
  • The less likely they are to have sex at young ages
  • They are at lower risk for thoughts of suicide and depression
  • They are more emotionally content and have fewer behavior problems
  • They have healthier eating habits
  • They do better in school  (academic performance went up 38%)
  • They are more likely to talk to their parents about a problem (40% more likely)

 And yet even with all these powerfully convincing statistics – I have found that many of my friends simply can’t seem to make it happen for their families.  We do live in a different world than the 60’s & 70’s when my parents were raising their family.  So many things have changed and there are so many challenges as well as activities “eating up” our time.

  • Many families have two working parents and are exhausted at the days end and trying to get a meal on the table and sit down together is overwhelming (I wrote a post last fall that might help this challenge – you can read it here)
  • Many families are split up – putting an amazing amount of pressure on the single parent as well as often times having the children going back & forth between two households
  • Many parents are working “odd” shifts” – swing shift or graveyard making it hard to share a meal together
  • Many children are involved in after school activities, clubs, sports, church youth groups etc… (and parents are transporting them to these activities, coaching or chaperoning) often making it a logistical nightmare trying to get everyone together
  • Even the parents have a long list of volunteer activities, book clubs, ladies & guys nights out, Bible studies and even home based businesses that take up night time hours

And yet…I believe if we really want to make it happen we can and we will!

This fall is especially challenging in the Lambdin household as we have three girls playing on soccer teams with varying practice schedules each weekday in the late afternoon/early evening, the high school girls are on the school volleyball team coached by their Daddy and that carload does not walk through the door before 6pm.  The first time we are actually all in the house consistently each evening is at 8pm.  Now that might work in a family without little ones….but my two year old is simply not going to wait to eat dinner that late (besides my metabolism won’t work as well eating a full meal at 8pm). 

As I began to work on our fall calendar this past weekend and realized our current dilemma I began to feel a bit frustrated that our schedules at this season of life are so complicated (you mommy’s of wee ones – be thankful for the less complicated season – hard, yes – but scheduling logistics, much simpler!).  I immediately began to brainstorm our options that would still give us time to sit down & take in a meal together –

  • 8pm dinners – NO,  for the reasons stated above
  • Give it up and just settle for dinner together on the weekends – NO, I am not the “settling” type of gal
  • Have a family breakfast together instead – NO, this would have to happen at 6:30am which means the high school girls & Dan would have to get up 30 minutes earlier than they already do, I would have to get up really early to prepare and mornings are not my best friend, not too mention dragging the 2 year old & 6 year olds out of bed would be a disaster

That is when I came up with this idea.   I will have dinner ready & out in the kitchen for the family to grab and eat from 4:30pm – 6:30pm.  Crock pot type meals that can stay warm and be ready to eat when needed.  (I welcome crock pot recipees – do share!) Paper plates or bowls for easy self clean up. They can eat at the table, at the desk doing homework, in the kitchen or while watching a DVD. They can eat by themselves or with whomever is around at their personal dinner time.  Then around 8pm every night we will all sit around the set table, candles lit, dinner music playing and have a light snack together with coffee or hot tea.  We will alternate between fruit & nuts, cheese/dips & crackers, light appetizers and desserts.  We will offer our prayers & blessing on the food, share stories of the day and enjoy sweet fellowship with the family.

We began last night as this is our first week of the craziness of our fall schedule and will continue this routine Monday through Thursdays (yay for weekend dinners together at 6pm!) until mid November when soccer and volleyball come to an end.  It was a perfect solution and everyone loved it!

Let me encourage you to make taking in a family meal together a real priority! (at the table, with the TV off  –> nice dishes, candles & music are a bonus!) If it helps even a little to keep your kids healthy, off drugs, not depressed, academic achievers with fewer behavior problems as well as more likely to talk to you – it is worth the effort…don’t you think?  Besides it is so enjoyable to spend time with those you love and the memories are priceless!

  Yes….where there is a will…there is a way!

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Filed under Consistency, Family Traditions, Life at the Lambdins, Life Lessons, Lifes Challenges, My "take", Parenting

August 13, 2009 · 12:11 pm

Dedications, Commitments & Forever Church Families

This past Sunday was a very special day.

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 We dedicated our dear Christiana to the Lord during the Sunday morning service at our church. As our entire family stood along with our pastor and his wife before our church family and dedicated this newest blessing back to the God who gave her to us I was overcome with emotion on many levels.

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 I was filled with joy that God has chosen to bless us with this precious life.

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I was filled with love for Christiana, my amazing husband, my beautiful children, my extended family, my pastors and my church family.

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 I was filled with peace knowing that this child belongs to the Lord and that He is in control of her life.

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 I was filled with hope, awe & wonder at the knowledge that God has a very special and unique plan for her life and that she will certainly be called by God to do great & mighty things for His kingdom.

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 As I stood there and looked out on the congregation, it hit me that 20 years ago in 1989 we had brought our first born daughter, Michelle to that very same altar, at that very same church and dedicated her to the Lord. Over the past two decades, everyone of our eight children has been dedicated to the Lord at this same altar.

dedication

 It also hit me that this is a rarity in our modern day mobile society where for one reason or another folks seem to switch churches every few years.

 I officially joined this church 26 years ago as a single young college student who after spending the summer as their youth intern decided that I wanted to become a part of this church family. My now husband, Dan became an official member after he decided to commit to being a part of the volunteer youth staff almost 25 years ago.

 One of the benefits of staying put over all these years is that many of our important spiritual milestones have taken place within those church walls and with our church family.

  •  Dan proposed to me at the altar at the conclusion of our youth service on March 18, 1986 (and I said yes!)
  • We were given counseling and married by the staff of this church and held our wedding reception in that very same sanctuary.
  • We served on staff as youth pastors of our church for four years.
  • Besides all of our children being dedicated to the Lord at that altar – one was saved during a children’s puppet crusade there (all the others prayed to receive Christ at home other than one who happened to be at a local gas station), three have been baptized in water at the church, four have been crowned an honor star through the outstanding girls ministry of Missionettes and two have held their Rite of Passage ceremony in the chapel.
  • We have sat in the same section in the front left hand side faithfully every Sunday and worshipped together, prayed together, given offerings together, been convicted, inspired, amused and yes even sometimes put to sleep, by the messages, gone to the altar for prayer and ministered to others all in that sanctuary.
  • We have taught Sunday School, worked in the nursery, volunteered in children’s ministry, attended special events, rejoiced along with dozens of young couples as they were wed, watched multitudes of baby dedications, baptisms and celebrated the lives of precious saints who went home to be with the Lord…all in that very same building.

 Now perhaps you might be thinking, that we found the perfect church since we have stayed and remained faithful all these years.   The messages must always be compelling, funny and interesting. The programs must be comprehensive and state of the art with something for everyone from infants to senior citizens. The music must be perfect and pleasing to everyone. The pastor and staff must be kind, compassionate, forgiving, wise, moral, charismatic, friendly, organized, effective communicators, dynamic leaders, ready to drop everything when you need them and willing to go the extra mile. The people there must be wonderful, supporting, encouraging, loving, serving one another – never gossiping, backbiting, complaining, grumbling  or…..

 …..oh wait – are you laughing yet?

 No, my home church is just like every church I know – full of imperfections, flaws, problems and frustrations.

 We have had some very amazing and awesome times at our church and we have had some very troubling and terrible times as well.  There has even been the “in between” rather dull and boring years with not much happening at all. We have seen hundreds if not thousands of lives dramatically impacted and we have seen people hurt and become bitter and angry.  We have gone through three pastors, five children’s pastors, six worship leaders and seven youth pastors. We have experienced an abundance of resources as well as times where we did not know if we would be able to turn on the lights the next Sunday.  We have had seasons of favor in the community and years marked with scandal.  We have seen people come and people go (and even come back again several times)  We have seen them trickle out because they were unhappy with this or that or because they were searching for better preaching or programs and we have seen them leave in droves because of some controversy, offense, disagreement or because of the latest and greatest new church starting up across town.

 And yet through it all….we have stayed.

 Why??? I am glad you asked.

We have stayed because we see commitment to our local church family the same way we see our commitment to our marriage and family.  We have made the commitment for the “long haul” – in good times and bad, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health and hopefully until death do us part.

Now of course their could be legitimate reasons to leave a church – like moving miles away, being called to minister to another congregation, if the church was to start heretical preaching (I’ll call this church adultery since they are forsaking the true Jesus – I might not leave for this but rather stay and fight but I do understand those that do leave for heresy)  or if their is abuse going on from leadership (one of the reasons I have chosen to stay in a church denomination that has a governing body over the local church that can intervene when leadership goes awry – non denominational churches lack such accountability) – but unfortunately the vast majority of people who leave a church do so, not for the reasons stated above, but because they:

  • are unhappy, frustrated or bored with the services, teaching or music
  • are not “getting fed” (ie – want the preaching to be dynamic, motivating and challenging)
  • want a better nursery, children’s or youth services, Sunday school or other program they deem vital
  • are angry at some church decision, the leadership or policies
  • things are not new & exciting enough
  • someone has ticked them off, offended, hurt or sinned against them

Now, I don’t know about you but I would not leave my marriage or trade in my family for any of those reasons.  Yes, there are times I am unhappy, bored, angry, hurt, frustrated and not very content with both my marriage and my family. Yes, there are times I want change or feel the need to have something new & exciting but that does not cause me to run off with a new guy or leave my children. And of course on occasion I long for a bigger house equipped with the all the” bells & whistles” and yet that is not what makes a house a home it is my family and our years of memories together that are the most important.

Since the Bible compares Christ and His commitment and love for His church to marriage and how it should operate – I think that we should all more seriously consider our commitment to the church as well.

Maybe it is time to stop church hopping. Maybe it’s time to make a commitment to a body of believers and stick with it.  Maybe it’s time to:

  • pray during service if your unhappy or frustrated (or look for someone to minister to)
  • feed yourself! (one of my biggest pet peeves is when adult Christians say “ I am not getting fed”. Really? Grow up & feed yourself)
  • volunteer to make your church programs better or realize that perfect programs are really not that vital compared to what you are teaching your children about commitment & faithfulness by sticking it out through the good, bad & the ugly
  • graciously and humbly communicate with your church leadership when you are concerned or have problems and at the same time let them know that you will not leave if things don’t change or go your way
  • trust God that He is using the leadership of your church in your life for good even if they make wrong decisions or policies
  • forgive those church members who sin against you (definition of forgiveness here – throw it in the sea of forgetfulness and remember it no more – you know – like what Jesus has promised to do for you…whew!)
  • remember that “new & exciting” is fun while it lasts….but it always, always, always ends up being old & routine. (so start seeing that as solid, secure, consistent and faithful)
  • “get over it” and realize that there is no perfect church – expect that you will at times be unhappy, frustrated, hurt and offended and enjoy the other times when you are thrilled, excited, amazed, touched, loved and blessed. Just like it is at home. 🙂

I believe that we have been blessed beyond measure by making such a unshakable commitment to our local church.  I also believe that the Lord is pleased that we have chosen faithfulness, commitment, forgiveness, long suffering and love over taking the easy way and “jumping ship” when we were unhappy, offended or discontent.

My one regret is that there are only a handful of others in our church who also chose to have that same type of commitment.  Oh how I would have loved to look out at that congregation on Sunday and seen the hundreds of church family members who were there when I became a member in September of 1983, who celebrated with us as we were married in 1986, who were there to commit to helping us raise our children up in the Lord as we brought each one of them to the altar and who played with them in the nursery, taught their Sunday School classes and led their Missionette clubs . Instead most of those folks are scattered throughout churches in our county, yes serving the Lord and yes still part of the greater body of Christ and while we have done our best to stay connected it is just not the same. We have all missed out on the joy, love and blessings of being an intimate “forever church family” while here on earth.

I hope and pray that my children as they grow up and settle down wherever the Lord leads them that they will find a church family that they will commit to and that they will be blessed to have members with that same commitment.  Does that exist anymore? I believe it can if we each just start today with our own decision to commit to our church family…..forever.

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Filed under Adoption, Attitude, Blessings, Consistency, Life at the Lambdins, Life Lessons, Lifes Challenges, My "take"

April 15, 2009 · 8:08 pm

So what if you don’t have the time….just do it!

To say that I don’t have time right now is like saying that Bill Gates just has a little extra “walking around money”. Yes that would be an understatement.

Besides the regular routine of  mothering, homeschooling, household management, my home based business and my “part time” job (yada yada)… I am working ’round the clock on the annual Jim Elliot Christian High School Dinner Auction which is just over a week away (and I still need to sell 150 tickets..yikes, gather up last minute auction donations and work daily with my team of volunteers).  Add to that my homeschoolers have state testing this week, not having gone to bed before 2am in days and having kids going “down for the count” daily with the stomach flu…and yes extra time is just about non existent in my life right now.

Yet today despite all of this…I managed to throw on some red, white & blue, grab some flags out of the closet and drive downtown to City Hall for a 45 minute rally at our Stockton City Tea Party.

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Why did I stop in the midst of the craziness of my current life to attend a rally where no one was expecting me or perhaps it didn’t even matter if I was there?  Why did I overcome my own personal objections of weariness, busyness and other obligations?  WHY?  WHY? WHY?

  • Because I believe in the message!
  • Because I am role modeling for and training my children.  They are watching and listening to not just what I say….but what I do.
  • Because in the future when I am asked – “Why did you not try to do something to stop this mess?”  I will be able to with a clear conscience say – I did do something!

There is so much more that I could say about how sometimes we just need to throw out our excuses as to why we can’t do something….and just do it! (but I will just let me actions speak for me this time)

Life went on today….even though I spent 45 minutes at a rally letting my voice be heard and then another 45 minutes sharing that with you in this blog! And no one may ever remember that I let my voice be heard today, but I will lay my head on the pillow tonight with perfect peace that I have stood for what I believe in, have role modeled that to my children and have began the fight for our future generation who will have to bear the brunt of our current actions. 

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Is there something in your life that you say you believe in and that you just are not making the time to do? Or perhaps you really do not have the time? So what….just do it! (This is what I said to myself this morning as I contemplated “skipping out” on this event and listed all the reasons I just didn’t have the time)

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Filed under Determination, Economics, Life at the Lambdins, Life Lessons, Lifes Challenges, My "take", Priorities, Time Management

February 2, 2009 · 6:39 pm

No regrets….really??

Lately I have been coming in contact with more and more people who seem to have a common philosophy on life – the general theme is that they have “no regrets”  in life about anything.  It often seems to come across with a bit of pomp and arrogance that says even though they have not lived a “perfect”  life  or that they have made some mistakes, none of it matters as long as they see it as an “experience”. They also follow it up with abundant clarity that no one better even suggest that they think any differently.

Another common characteristic I have found in many with this philosophy, is that they are typically in the younger “under 30”  (which is quickly becoming the new “under 40”) crowd. Perhaps they just have not yet had enough life experience to realize that it is ok and actually even helpful  to regret something you did or didn’t do in life, even if it, in the end, worked out or caused you to grow or gave you an unexpected blessing. Or perhaps it has nothing to do with age, wisdom or experience.

Many of these “no regreters” rely on and relish in quotes like these from authors and celebrities who have made more than there fair share of detrimental mistakes.

“Never regret. If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it’s experience.”
 
“I have no regrets in my life. I think that everything happens to you for a reason. The hard times that you go through build character, making you a much stronger person.”
 
“I never regret anything. Because every little detail of your life is what made you into who you are in the end.” 
 
Now don’t get me wrong, I can appreciate seeing life’s struggles, problems and even mistakes as working out for good and even helping you to grow, mature and become a better person. I can also understand not wallowing in your past mistakes. I can even embrace a “no regrets” philosophy if it has its roots in taking worthwhile risks and living life outside of the norm or when looking to the future and saying – “I want to live a life of no regret”.

But really…no regrets about the past?? ever?? 

 I certainly have regrets – some of which I will share here –

  • I regret the relationship I had with a boy for three years during high school… for a myriad of reasons.
  • I regret that I didn’t apply myself to learning more while I was in college.  I wasted my time and my parents money by not being more diligent
  • I regret that I did not live more frugally and be wiser with my money.
  • I regret that I went back to work after the birth of my first child. I cannot get that time back no matter what.
  • I deeply regret that I did not do something more pro active to help a dear former student who ended up taking her life. 
  • I regret allowing myself to gain weight after each child was born. Losing 1o lbs would have been much easier than losing 50lbs.
  • I regret losing control and screaming at my kids.
  • I regret things that I have said flippantly that have hurt others.
  • I regret the times I have not walked in integrity – by embellishing reality or omitting details or using words to mask the complete truth

Those are just a few of regrets I have in my life and even though yes, each of them has helped mold and make me into the person I am today – it is actually because I have regretted them that they have impacted me, impacted those around me and made a positive difference in who I am today.  If I had not regretted them – then why would I need to change or grow?  Why not just keep on making the same mistakes or even greater ones and chalking it up to – simple life experience – because good or bad it will be part of who I become?

The regret over things done or not done, mistakes made, sins committed should be what changes us and makes us into a better person!  

Besides that, there simply are things in life everyone should regret  –

  • like hurting other people through your words or actions,
  • like stealing, cheating or lieing,
  • like being responsible for the injury or death of another life,
  • like neglecting, abusing or abandoning your children,
  • like being unfaithful to your marriage vows,
  • or how about not making time for your loved ones  (unfortunatly this regret often comes after they are taken from you)

– to name just a few things that one should have regret about.

Isn’t having a life philosophy of  “no regrets”  really just a mask for saying that there is nothing you do that is right or wrong? No absolute truth? You have no personal responsibility for your actions? It is all just about how you decide to see life? You can do anything and the consequences will all work out in the end?

I think a better life philosophy would be – redeeming my regrets!

That we should all take a long hard look at our regrets in life and look for ways to redeem those things.  Perhaps we should redeem our regrets by  –

  • helping others avoid doing the same thing by being transparent and honest about the true damage we have caused through or action or inaction. 
  • or we could go back and fix things through apologies, restitution’s and repairs (although unfortunately some things just can’t be fixed).  
  • why not use the pain of past regrets to catapult us into a present course of action that we will be pleased and proud of and that will give us a future of satisfaction and fulfillment of a life well lived.

Redeeming your regrets….now there is a life philosophy I can get behind!

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Filed under Attitude, Life Lessons, My "take"

February 1, 2009 · 8:16 pm

Super Bowl Sentiments

Ok….so I am watching the Superbowl. 

But not because I am a “die hard” football fan, although I do like the sport more than many women I know.  Not because I particularly care about either team, I will always be a San Diego Charger fan (due in part to having lived there two different times for a total of  six years and because my Dad was a native “San Diegan”) as well as a Washington Redskin follower (if you have ever lived within the beltway I think you have to become a fan or else!) not too mention my passion – GO NAVY!  BEAT ARMY! (which is self explanatory for any military children out there – the rest of you just might not get it). And most definitely it is not because I do not have a massive amount of work to be accomplished. (I do!)

So why am I about to spend four hours of my life on the couch eating chips & cowboy dip (that I shouldn’t be eating) and watching a game (that I am not super interested in) on our postage stamp size, bunny eared TV (with not so great reception)?

  •  Because my husband loves football and… I love my husband!  He comes from a football playing, football loving family.  He played in high school and then went on to coach that same team for the next ten years before he retired from coaching to spend more time in ministry and become a Daddy.  When I married him, I married a football fan. So throughout our married life I have been well aware that many Saturday & Sunday afternoons would be spent watching football.
  • Because although we have been blessed with six daughters who will never find themselves on the gridiron (and will not be cheering either – I won’t even get into my anti cheerleading bias, lest I make some enemies) – it looks like we just might have a future football player in our family in our newest little boy whose first word was “ball”, who at 20 months will sit down & actually watch an entire game with his dad (this is NOT normal for a toddler of either gender!), who can easily identify a football player or ball on the TV, computer or even on a magazine in the grocery store, who bends down & says “hut, hut, hike” the minute the game begins (it is sooooooooo cute!) and who is rarely found without a ball in his hand.  I actually hope his passion continues as I would love being a football Mom (call me crazy!)
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  • And finally because this is where the family is convened this afternoon and I love being together with my family in one room. (even if as I look up from my laptop – three of the girls have already fallen asleep)

 So…here is my commentary on the highlights of today’s game  –

The recognition of the courageous hero’s of  1549 that crash landed in the Hudson River earlier   – the pilot Chesley Sullenberger and his crew – who could help but not be inspired by this group.  And I couldn’t help but thinking that each of those who were on that flight are thanking the Lord that they are alive today to witness yet another Super Bowl.

The honoring of our military by having  General David H. Petraeus, commander of U.S. Central Command, perform the ceremonial coin toss for the Arizona Cardinals’ and Pittsburgh Steelers’ team captains.  I am so pleased that at this much watched event, we give honor to those who truly deserve it!

The Walter Payton Man of the Year Award was presented to quarterback Kurt Warner for his philanthropy.  Warner, who led the Cardinals to their first championship game in 60 years, created a partnership with Habitat for Humanity to sponsor construction throughout the Midwest. He has raised over $450,000, including a $100,000 personal contribution, $100,000 from his foundation, and $100,000 each from the Cardinals and the NFL Disaster Relief Fund.  Bravo Kurt! I love to see those who have been blessed with fame and fortune using it for the good of others.

I also love it that Kurt Warner and his wife  have seven children, he has adopted two of them (one with disabilities) and is a believer!  What an inspirational role model.

And though I am always hearing about the great Super Bowl commercials – I must admit I spent much of the time working on my lap top during the commercials and half time performance.  Besides, it was my way of boycotting NBC for their censorship of one commercial that SHOULD have been aired today. (You can read the deal here – http://www.lifenews.com/nat4801.html)   Here is this amazing commerical —

I love an exciting finish….and even though the girls and I were all rooting for the Cardinals (because we love Kurt Warner) my dear darling hubby was quite happy with “his” team the Pittsburgh Steelers winning yet another Super Bowl.  The back & forth at the end gets the adrenalin going and there was lots of cheering and sitting at the edge of our seats (as well as coaching from the couch for Dan)!  What a great game.

Finally I love to listen to the post game interviews always hoping for some of these athletes, who many across this nation look up to, will be great role models and give God the glory for their athletic abilities and amazing life!  Unfortunately the Lord was not publicly recognized by anyone this year, which was disappointing because….after all, without Him there is nothing.

Hey…one last thing – if anyone out there reading this blog won some money in a Super Bowl pool – I’ve got a great non profit organization you can donate some of your windfall too – Jim Elliot Christian High School – an incredible ministry to young people committed to raising up teens to go out and have a positive impact on the world (and yes, we have a football team…go Eagles…baby Daniel’s future team!)

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 Just go to www.jechs.wordpress.com , click on Support JECHS and then click on “donate online”.  I can’t think of anything better to do with your winnings! 🙂

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Filed under Life at the Lambdins, My "take"

January 27, 2009 · 6:42 pm

Talking the Talk….Walking the Walk

January is National Right to Life Month.

If you have read much of my blog or have known me for longer than 24 hours you most likely are well aware that one of my passions is LIFE!  I believe that all human life is a precious gift from God to be more highly valued than riches, possessions, personal pleasure or pursuits. I believe that every human being has the “right” to life – no matter their size, their level of development, their environment or their degree of dependency.

Do you believe that?

* Size – Are bigger people more human or more valuable than smaller people?  Is a baby born at full term weighing 7lb 11 oz more human than the one born in the room next door at 26 weeks gestation weighing 1lb 6oz? For my dear friend who delivered her baby at 15 weeks and held in the palm of her hand a tiny yet perfectly formed little baby boy and saw his perfect little hands, toes, eye brows and tiny little finger nails- she can tell you that her tiny baby was valuable and human.

Level of Development– Certainly we do not want to live in an elitist society that says only people with a certain level of development are human and valuable?  Are you at a higher development level  – physically, emotionally and mentally –  now than when you were 5 or 15 or  even 25 for that matter. I certainly am.  And as I age, I realize that in many ways my development will actually start deteriorating  (especially in the physical arena) – does that mean I am less valuable or human?  Level of Development does not make a life valuable.  No matter what our level of development, no matter what our disabilities, we have the right to life.

Environment – Does where we live determine our right to life or our value as a human being?  I have lived –

  • under my parents 14 “roofs” (in seven different cities, in four states)
  • in a dorm room at UOP
  • in two different apartments and a rental home
  • in my own home (well ok, really the banks home)

….and in my mothers womb! I have been a valuable human being with the right to life in each and everyone of those places. Why would anyone suggest that an 8 inch trip down the birth canal somehow makes you human?

Degree of Dependency – Dependency is irrelevant to value in human beings.  My 21 month old precious baby boy (I refuse to call him a toddler yet) is completely dependant on others to sustain his life.  My 19 year old amazing daughter is completely dependant on insulin to stay alive. Someday I just might be completely dependant on my children due to the loss of my health or ability to work t0 provide for my needs – will that make me not valuable or have the right to life? In many ways we are all dependant on someone or something to sustain our life. And for those of us who have others depending on us to sustain their lives….are we not morally and ethically responsible to provide that need?

Bottom Line – Why is it ok to end the life of  a baby before they are born?

My passion for life is not something I just talk about – it is something I have actively lived out by –

  • praying, praying & praying
  • sharing my passion for the unborn with young people for the past 25 years
  • teaching & training those same young people to defend the rights of the unborn
  • having the privilege of being able to “rescue” a teenager literally right from out of an abortionists hands (her beautiful daughter is now 20 years old & living a wonderful life!)
  • being arrested & going to jail for peaceful civil disobedience while protesting abortion (no signs, no words,no threats)
  • being personally open to every life the Lord wants to bless us with – at any age, under any circumstances, at any time
  • being willing to adopt any baby (no, not just a “perfect” baby) that a mother is unable to raise for whatever reason (really!  If you know of someone with a “unwanted” pregnancy we would love to raise their baby in our loving home)
  • having an “open home” policy for anyone in a crisis pregnancy (or any other crisis for that matter)
  • donating baby clothes, diapers and money to the Pregnancy Help Center in Stockton
  • participating in fund raisers for Pregnancy Crisis Centers
  • teaching, training, influencing and inspiring my own seven children to be actively pro-life
  • and this past Saturday our entire family participated for the first time (but not the last!) in the Walk for Life in San Francisco with over 30,000 others who are taking a stand for the right to life for the unborn. 

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These type of events help to solidify your and your children’s convictions in every way – from the inspirational speakers, the testimonies from women who regret their abortions, the warm, wonderful & diverse fellowship with fellow walkers and even listening to the angry protesters rhetoric ignites passion & purpose.

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My eldest daughter, Michelle,  participated in the March for Life in Washington DC two days prior to our event (and I have to say I am one proud Mommy – she has been passed the baton & is running with it!)

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She got to hear incredible “right on” speakers like Pastor Luke Robinson –

 

If you too believe in the right to life for the unborn,  I would ask you today….what are you doing to “talk the talk” AND “walk the walk”?  Together we can – stop the killing of innocent life.

 

 * The SLED acronym was learned from Scott Klusendorf one of the best defenders of life in our country!(www.prolifetraining.com)

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Filed under Adoption, Making a Difference, My "take", Pro-life

January 26, 2009 · 4:50 pm

Inaugurations Happen….Every Four Years

Four years…will fly by!

How do I know?  Well after dragging my kids out of bed last Tuesday to watch the historic inauguration of our first black president (which we would have watched the inauguration events no matter who was being sworn in – to me it is patriotic!), I began to reminisce on past inaugurations.

  • Just four years ago in 2005 three of my girls – Michelle, Amy & Rebekah attended the inauguration of George W Bush for his second term
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  • Four years previous to that in 2001, Michelle, after working for months volunteering her time for the Republican Central Committee (as an 11 year old….mind you!) raised the funds and secured a ticket from our congressman to attend Bush’s first inauguration! 
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  • of course I can remember the 1997 inauguration of Bill Clinton because my four girls ages 7, 4, 3 and 18 months and I made & ate an entire batch of chocolate chip cookie dough to drown our sorrows. (ok, so the girls were happy even before the cookie dough except for perhaps Michelle who even at seven was already political)
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  • During the 1993 inauguration I only had two little girls…just a “starter kit” family 🙂
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  • If you go back to the 1989 innaguaration of George H Bush I was pregnant with Michelle just beginning my nine months of non stop “morning sickness”.
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  • And in 1985 I was single (not even considering matrimony or motherhood!) & a youth pastor for over 100 teens
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  • 1981, after voting for the first time the previous November for Ronald Reagan, I was an 18 year old freshman at the University of the Pacific
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That is only eight inaugurations since my being old enough to vote.  Then I began to do the math….our children will be at home with us for,  a mere four or at the most five inaugurations.  FOUR!!!???  Does that not seem like an incredibly small amount of time when you put it in perspective?  I know that when “your guy”  is not in office four years may seem like an eternity.  But it really does just fly by like all of life once you enter the “adult world”. (When I was a child everything seemed to take forever to get here…is that still the case today?) 

So wether you are lamenting or rejoicing in the next four years under our current administration

  • Take a moment to realize and let it sink in how very short four years is and how incredibly fast it will go by
  • Take a moment to count how many innaguarations your kids have left under your roof (Michelle is already up & out, this was the last innaguration for Amy & Kristen to be at home….<big sigh & gulp>, Rebekah has one left, Grace has two, Joy has three and Daniel has four)
  • Take a moment to decide what are you going to do with that time you have left, Lord willing, with your children?

Be purposeful in your parenting.  Have a plan and inact that plan! You have four short “terms of office” as their parents to

  • mold and shape them into people of character & conscience
  • teach and train them in the principles of the Word of God
  • disciple and mentor them to fear the Lord and glorify Him in all that they do
  • influence them to be life giving and show love to the “least of these” – the orphans, widows, elderly, disabled, depressed, outcasts, enslaved and the unborn
  • inspire them to live a life of service that will make a difference and have a lasting impact

Take an oath today that you will be purposeful in your parenting during the term of office you have left.  Don’t let these years just pass you by – all too soon your term will be up and your legacy will be carried on….for better or for worse by your children. What will history write about your parenting?

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Filed under Inspiration, Life Lessons, Making a Difference, My "take", Parenting, Service, Time Management

January 5, 2009 · 12:08 pm

The Irony of Life

It’s the first Monday of January and from what I can surmise from the facebook statuses I have been looking over – many mothers are rejoicing that their children are back in school today after a two week break for the Christmas holiday.  The comments are filled with smiley faces and interjections like – yay! yippee! whew! hallelujah!

Oh….the irony of life.

Just minutes after reading some of those statuses, up popped a new comment from a mom lamenting the fact that her two college age kids were heading back to school today.  Later, I noticed several more unhappy faces and sad comments from others about helping kids pack to go back to school, driving to airports and saying goodbye.

Perhaps these comments struck me as funny as I just seem to be at every stage of life all at the same time – with my eldest headed back to college in NYC, two high schoolers who are back to the daily grind this morning and several more home with me easing back into the homeschool routine (very slowly) and an up and coming toddler running all over the house with energy galore! I can completely relate to the melancholiness of having children return for another semester in college. And while I am not at all excited about my kids going back to school today (or my dear darling husband!) – I can see how one might be looking forward to an empty house and time completely to oneself. And for those of you with just pre-schoolers, I know the dichotomy of complete overwhelming exhaustion and joyfulness this age brings us.

Being the analytical and introspective person that I often am, it has all made me stop and think.  What is it about human nature that we are never quite content with where we are and what we have right at the moment? When we have wee ones at home – we can’t wait for them to grow up and go to Kindergarten. (ahhhh….the end to the exhausting 24/7 job)  We look forward with glee to summer vacation only to wish it away in the last few weeks.  We are thrilled to see our kids leave for school after Christmas break only to, on the same occasion a few years later, be saddened to see them head back to school for college.  And though I am not anywhere close to being an empty nester – my guess is that many would trade all their free time & complete independence for more time with children & grandchildren any day!

So today I will choose to be content with what I have right now. 

  • Content that my college girl is soon off to New York and that we will stay connected through email, facebook and cell phones.
  • Content that my high schoolers are back at school learning, growing, playing and enjoying this fun season of life
  • Content that my husband will once again dissapear into  – doing lesson plans, grading papers, counseling young people and loving his life as high school teacher & chaplain
  • Content that I have three children here at home to teach and train
  • Content that I have a wee one to chase and change… catch and cuddle!
  • And yes, even content that my vacation is over too, as I start back to work  from home today at two jobs to make ends meet!

How are you doing at being content today?

“for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am”  Phillipians 4:11

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Filed under Attitude, Blessings, Motherhood, My "take"

October 27, 2008 · 1:29 am

What was I thinking?

UPDATE:  Today is Amy’s 20th birthday! I wrote this blog post four years ago when she turned 16. As I awoke early this morning just as I did 20 years ago I thought, as I always do on this day, of all the amazing details of her birth and decided to repost this article. Enjoy!

My second daughter – Amy Girl – is turning sweet sixteen today.  I remember the day of her birth vividly.  In fact, of all my seven deliveries (2 c-sections & 5 vbacs)….Amy’s was one of the easiest.

But as I remember the events surrounding her birth I have to laugh at myself. I have certainly mellowed out a bit in my “old age” because when I look back to my decisions as a 30 year old “driven”, type A , intense young woman, I often find myself saying….What was I thinking?

After a 24+ hour pitocin induced, mind numbing, horrific labor that ended in a c-section, three years prior with my #1 child, Michelle….I had no idea what to expect with #2.  Well it was “textbook”.  I woke up at 6am with contractions about 20 minutes apart.  Since I wanted to be off work with this baby as long as possible, I did not want to stay home from my half day teaching position in case this was a false alarm….so I took a shower and went to work.

What was I thinking?  Going to work in labor….pleeeeease!  

The contractions got closer & closer with each class period – going from twenty, to fifteen, to ten and then to five minutes apart.  I had my students time them on the white board and just went about my day lecturing on leadership, helping students with yearbook & journalism deadlines and planning student activities with the student council.  By noon with just a few minutes left in my teaching day, word had gotten down to my principal that I was having contractions. He called down to my room and ordered me to the hospital.

What was I thinking? Having contractions five minutes apart…stopping to time them and having students record them. Oh my!  What if my water would have broken in class?  Now that would have been a memory not too soon forgotten and filed under the most embarrassing moments category.

On the way to the hospital my water did break and the contractions took on a new intensity.  By 1pm we were in the delivery room and dear sweet baby Amy was born after just a couple of pushes at 3:24pm…a few minutes after school ended for the day.  Before I knew it, I was surrounded by students coming in to welcome the newest Lambdin baby into the world.

What was I thinking having nine teenagers in my room just hours after giving birth?  Oh wait – I’m still doing that – it’s just that most of those teens are my own. 🙂

48 hours later I was at home cooking and serving a four course dinner to my husbands entire Varsity Volleyball team the night before their championship game of the season.

What was I thinking?  This still makes me wonder if I had lost my sanity?  I mean really!  I should have been kicking back on the couch being served dinner by someone else…but this special night was on the calendar and the doctor had recently informed me that I would not be delivering for two more weeks (shows you what doctors know)….so when Amy arrived a couple days prior to the volleyball dinner,  I just decided to carry on with our plans. (You see girls – if it is on the calendar – it does happen!)

During the next few weeks, I attended several volleyball games, chaperoned student activities, met with the yearbook staff and even was the speaker at a leadership retreat…all with baby in tow.

What was I thinking?

I guess I was thinking that life just goes on.  You just do what you have to do!  And I suppose that even though the years, my life experiences and my many children have mellowed me in many ways, I still strive to live my life with a paradigm of  –“Why not?”  and “Yes…I can!” – when faced with doing things that might seem crazy, out of the ordinary or overwhelming.  And I always want to hear myself saying – “Sure, I’d love to!”  – when asked to help someone in need despite my own personal problems, “to do list” or excuses that may be miles long.

We could probably all use a bit more  –

  • Why not?
  • Yes…I can!

and

  • Sure I’d love to!

in our lives.  So, in honor of Amy Girls birthday, I will stay up far too late preparing for her special day, get up at crack of dawn to take her to bagels with the sisters in our PJ’s, go to the high school and bring cupcakes & ballooons to her (and embarrass her fully by singing – “You’re 16” to her during a class) and then cook her a “made to order” dinner…… despite having several pending deadlines for my work, participating in an important dedication service for my friends baby and trying to pack and plan for an out of town trip to NYC later this week! Why not? Yes…I can! Sure, I’d love to!

And today….Happy 20th Birthday Amy-girl! May you always live your life with this same paradigm:

Why not?

Yes…I can!

Sure, I’d love to!

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Filed under Attitude, My "take"