What was I thinking??
Have you ever muttered those words or had them flash across your brain like a neon light? I have had a knack for doing a few not so brilliant things in my life where those words were not just said or thought by me, but by many others as well. A few examples (at the risk of seeming like a big idiot) –
Slicing a 1 inch hole in my knee with a pair of manicure scissors while attempting to cut my toenails. (and I still have the scar to prove it!)
Holding a metal ruler with my mouth while needing two hands to do something else & then banging it on the table….shoving it back into my throat & cutting it severely…….ahhhhhhhhh!! (didn’t Mom always tell you not to put things in your mouth?)
Teaching a high school class a day after my due date while having contractions 3 minutes apart! (my water broke minutes after leaving the class..that would have been a great deterrent to teen pregnancy!)
Deciding I could handle the black triangle ski run (even though I was not an expert skier) and after crashing & tumbling half way down the steep hill…taking off my ski’s and walking the rest of the way down. (To the condesending glances of those riding the ski lift above me)
Ok….that’s enough! (Believe me there are plenty more but I’ll save some of my pride)
Then there are other moments, seasons & decisions in my life that I could have filed under the – “What was I thinking?” category (& certainly everyone else was thinking that!)….however, while they seemed crazy to others & even at times to myself, they were really steps of faith…overlooking the obstacles and realities of my life & seeing the vast potential of the opportunity ahead of me while relying on God to give me the strength to move forward with His supernatural power & wisdom.
The time I signed a “part time” contract (with a part time salary) to do many different full time jobs at the high school where I was employed – guidance counseling, admissions director, student activity director, yearbook & journalism advisor and leadership teacher. (They hired 5 different people when I left!)
What was I thinking?
I often wonder that exact thing but that season of life resulted in a wealth of experience & knowledge that has benefited me greatly in everything I have done since that time. The relationships I developed during those years with my students, their parents & the staff has enriched my life like none other. In fact rarely a day goes by where I do not come face to face with the reality of those relationships. It was a good thing that I wasn’t thinking or I would have missed out on this awesome blessing!
Then there was the time I decided to begin my own home based business at a period in my life when I had four children….whose ages were…. 6, 3, 18 months and a newborn!
What was I thinking?
I wasn’t thinking! (and who is when they are postpartum & have several tiny ones under foot…you don’t have time to think, your brain is in a fog & you are just trying to survive!) However, that business was and is a huge blessing to my life. Not only was I able to provide a much needed income for my growing family but I learned to blend my family with my business and we all benefited greatly. Here eleven years later those children are 17, 14, 131/2, and 11 (and there are three more now – 8, 4 and the baby) – the skills they have developed and the confidence, as well as awesome people skills are a direct result of being involved in Mommy’s business. I’m glad I didn’t do much thinking about my life situation and obstacles!
Another example is when my dear darling husband and I were facing an unprecedented financial crisis in our lives & we had no income. Instead of taking one of the many job opportunities that came our way, we decided to “live by faith” and start a much needed Christian high school in our area. Other than a handful of people everyone else thought we had lost our minds!
What were we thinking?
We were only thinking of the incredible vision & dream we had of a fabulous, thriving high school that would touch the lives of young people in such a way that they would in turn go out & make a huge and positive impact on the world! And am I ever glad we didn’t do much thinking or perhaps the school (where my husband loves serving as Chaplain, where one daughter has graduated from & is already out impacting the world, another daughter has just begun there & two girls follow close behind in the next few years) may not even exist. I am thankful that we didn’t let our logical thinking process drown out our faith!
What are you thinking about doing?
Is there something looming in front of you that seems bigger than life, impossible or perhaps just too crazy to even try? Does it keep coming to the forefront of your mind but you want to write it off as insane?
Sometimes you need to stop thinking. Sometimes analyzing every side of a situation can paralyze you and keep you from jumping into something that just might be life changing! Sometimes you need to ignore the voices inside your head or around you from others and do something that might be “outside the box”, different, crazy or even impossible to everyone but God.
I find myself once again on the threshold of a “What are you thinking?” moment and getting ready to jump into something that is a bit crazy with obstacles to overcome and realities to deal with. But I will press forward with Gods strength and power in the hope that when I look back on my life I will rejoice that I didn’t “think” too much but rather jumped in and experienced incredible, life changing & miraculous things!
What are you thinking about?